Are You Obsessed with Having a Perfect Life?

Face it: You're dreaming ...

Jill Reid

May 27, 2025

Available for iOS and Android

There’s a difference between a dream and a goal.

We blow out the candles on a birthday cake and send a desperate wish into the universe.

We cross our fingers and close our eyes, hoping for the best.

And when our deepest desires don’t come true, we shrug our shoulders and wait for the next opportunity to toss out a good thought. Because we believe by sending our heartfelt requests into an unknown void, our pleas will eventually be heard — and our perfect life will arrive on the doorstep.

If only it were so.

The truth is we rarely put as much effort into pursuing our dreams as we do in our real life work. Maybe it’s because we have little faith that our wishes will ever come true, yet we can’t take the chance of missing out on that one anomaly that could hit — if we just waited long enough.

This line of thinking is similar to believing you’ll win the multi-million-dollar lottery with the handful of tickets you continue to buy on a weekly basis. Keep playing the game — you tell yourself — and one day, it’ll pay off.

If only life worked that way.

Some folks find it difficult to understand that waiting for the universe to heed their call and grant every wish is a flawed concept. Still, they hold onto the mistaken belief that the illusion of success or wealth or greatness is readily and easily within reach.

Unfortunately, this unrequited mindset can create a laundry list of emotional discontent. Self-pity, a pessimistic attitude, and misaligned resentment all line-up for their turn to strengthen the argument that everyone else always gets what they want, and you never do.

You tell yourself you’re working just as hard, even more than those who receive recognition. Your ego convinces you the accolades parlayed upon others are deservedly yours, and for some reason you’re being overlooked or forgotten.

You feel justified in stubbornly holding your ground, waiting for the good life to arrive — with a lengthy apology for being late.

And when the answer to your prayers doesn’t come knocking on the door, you feel cheated and resentful.

If only everyone recognized your greatness.

Here’s an undeniable fact of life: You are the sum total of everything you’ve chosen to do or not do. You’re the result of the direction and decisions you’ve made throughout your life. You and only you are responsible for where you are, how you got there, and where you’re going.

If you’re unhappy, unfulfilled, or dissatisfied, you can change it all. That is, if you want to.

On the other hand, maybe you prefer living in a fantasy realm, drifting through the days with an unrealistic state of mind, accomplishing nothing and going nowhere. Perhaps it’s easier, less disruptive, to remain stagnant in your own self-designed world waiting for outside forces, people, and circumstances to make everything perfect — for you.

If you let others determine your destiny, they will.

Except one day, you may discover you’re living someone else’s ideal life, and not your own. In fact, your current situation may have no resemblance at all to the happy, fulfilling, productive future you’d imagined.

And now, you wake up in the morning to a dismal list of duties and tasks that have nothing to do with the person you are or want to be.

You think about all the time you’ve wasted living a life you feel no connection to, while others sailed off to explore new worlds, confident in knowing you’ve taken the burden of responsibility off their shoulders.

If only you could change things.

What if it were the other way around?

What if you were the one heading off on your personal adventure, excited and inspired by the decision to say “no” to that which offers no potential to encourage and motivate you.

What if you were a person who understood that a real life can only materialize when you make a change, adjustment, or course correction — away from the wispy dreams and demanding distractions of others that hold you captive?

If only that would work.

Think about it for a while. You might even get used to the idea, and the possibilities you’ve yet to discover — the life that’s waiting out there, for you.

I look forward to meeting you in the real world.

In health & happiness,

Jill Reid

Jill Reid is the author of Real Life, Discover Your Personal Truth, Life in Small Doses, and Please God, Make Me A Writer. Her books, videos, and newsletter explore life, relationships, self-improvement, health, and personal success strategies for working through the challenges of everyday life.